Awareness of Microaggressions

This weekend my sister-in-law's sister made a comment about Mormons being a cult. I asked her why she said that. She responded that they were not Christians. I replied that Mormons believe in Jesus Christ. She replied that Mormons believe in having many wives. I explained that polygamy was an old concept that the Mormons had abandoned. Perhaps a small group of Mormons believed in polygamy, but not the majority. After she made another comment, I asked her why she was demonizing Mormons when none of us knew enough about Mormons to be so critical. She did not have an answer.

This conversation helped me see that we probably all have conversations amongst well-intended friends which involves a microaggression against individuals or cultures. I feel compelled to speak up sometimes. Hearing microaggressions makes me uncomfortable. Since this week's assignment, I have greater awareness of microaggressions against groups beyond "people of color". I also recognize now the microaggressions against people who have a different religion. For some reason, it seems like a human tendency to perpetuate this sense of "otherness" to claim superiority over another. I wonder what makes us do that.

Beyond Surface Labels

I asked three coworkers their definition of “culture” and “diversity”.  One coworker is a White, heterosexual Christian male from Indiana, another coworker is a White agnostic lesbian female from Northeast U.S., and the last coworker is an African-American heterosexual anti-racist male.  In their definitions of culture and diversity, there were several words which aligned with Week 3 readings:

• Socially created groups
• Over time (dynamic)
• What we say, what we do, shared experiences

All three coworkers listed components of culture, such as, language, religion, geography, and work.  I noticed, however, no one listed deeper cultural components, such as: children, expression, or values.  Cultural discontinuity of these items is what can spark considerable tension.  I say this based on my experiences in and outside of work.  For example, I often hear “don’t show your emotions” from well-meaning friends and mentors.  The African-Americans and Latinos who I interact with are emotional and are not ashamed to express their emotion in their tone of voice and in facial expressions.  To be constantly told to hide our emotions has an unintended consequence of suppressing our cultural identities as expressive people. So, the omission of “expression” supports my feeling that most people don’t see the manner in which others express themselves as an attribute of “culture”.

Regarding “diversity”, all coworkers were aligned on “differences”:

• “A collection of individuals or things that have unique differences".
• “Any social group composed of individuals from different cultures”.
• “All the different ways we do things and say things and thing about things”.

This exercise helps me see that culture is everything we do and say and how we do it and say it.  My three coworkers recognize this.  While the definition sounds simple, it’s terribly complex.  The construction of culture is so subtle; it’s difficult to deconstruct it to show the harm that can be inflicted on others who are excluded from dominant culture.

Joy's Family Culture

My family and I are headed to another country, but I’m not sure where we’re going.  They said I could bring three things, so I will bring our family Bible, a photo album, and the UNO game.  The Bible describes the values that guide my family; the photo album includes pictures of cousins, grandparents, and friends who we must remember; and the UNO game brings my family into one room to play, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company.  My family and I have arrived at this new country, but they told me I can only bring one item, not three.  I choose the family Bible.  The Bible is foundational to who the Mason family is.  The Bible talks about love, contentment, humility, and forgiveness. Even if we didn’t have the UNO game to pull us together or the photo album to remember the faces of family, the Bible would help us stay close and be content.  The Bible would also give us guidance for adjusting to our new home. 

The primary insight from this exercise is that I did not select a physical object to represent the African-American identity of my family.  The African-American identity is very important to who I am and who my family is.  However, I am discovering that social identities and culture are not so much about things, but more so about a way of being, relating, and validating. Lastly, I think the underlying reasons for why I chose my three objects are probably more similar to others, than dissimilar.